Mothers' Day

 Because it's Mother's Day this weekend we've had the usual barrage of advertising of suitable gifts. Many are simply ludicrous. I cannot imagine why anyone would think that a vacuum cleaner (the house is filthy), a circular saw (get on with some heavy work), digital scales (you're overweight) or a posture trainer (your posture is terrible) would be appropriate gifts but I have seen them advertised. 

My family has never subscribed to the need for gifts for Mother's Day. I appreciate a bunch of flowers or a plant - the cymbidium Virgo gave me seven years ago is an annual delight - but other than that I'm just happy to see my kids on the day.

There is one thing I really do not like, though, and it seems to be increasing. This is the sending of personalised text messages and emails from companies where I've been obliged to provide a phone number or email address to use their services offering me ways to give my mother special gifts for Mother's Day. Quite apart from the fact that I wouldn't want to give the kinds of gifts they offer, my mother passed away some years ago. I cannot buy her a gift and go and see her however much I want to. 

As a result Mother's Day for me is a day of conflicting emotions. I'm very happy to see my children but it's also bittersweet because it reminds that my mother is gone. To have this avalanche of personalised messages only adds to that feeling of loss. That companies don't understand there are many like me who are motherless is distressing and, yes, I can suck it up and get on with my life but I shouldn't have to. Send out your advertising if you must or not (which would be preferable since I'm unlikely to buy anything you mention when it intrudes on my space as this does) - but don't send me messages saying Helen, here are some suggestions of gifts for your mother. It would be easy enough to phrase it differently. Leave out the salutation and make it generalised because in its current form it's a hurtful reminder that I have lost someone very dear to me.