My Special Diet is NOT Me Just Being Finicky

Yesterday I went to the Christmas break up of a social group Pisces and I belong to. We've been meeting as a group once a month every month since we were newly weds so we know each other pretty well. Christmas parties are catered for by everyone bringing a dish with the menu co-ordinated by the hosting family. This works well and the array of goodies is pretty spectacular.

So far so good because this way of catering means that those of us who have special dietary needs can make sure we can find at least one dish (the one we bring) we can eat. I'm one of those people because I cannot eat sugar but there are several others in the group who also find it problematic so there are usually a few other dishes to choose from. My sugar intolerance is severe. Even a tiny amount can lead to severe abdominal cramps, nausea and other debilitating symptoms including having to make frequent rushes to the toilet. This is not fun as you can imagine particularly when I'm not at home so I'm very careful about what I eat when out and always ask the maker of a dish exactly what is in it.

So yesterday I'm sitting talking to a couple of my friends and because one of the women in the group has recently been diagnosed with diabetes the conversation turns to special dietary needs and in passing I mention how I have to stick to a sugar free diet and why. I'm asked how I manage it and explain the intricacies of living sugar free which is not easy in our society. Ten minutes later we start the meal and I wander around the table asking what is in the food whenever I'm in doubt. There's an interesting looking brown rice salad there so I ask what's in it of the maker, one of the women I had the previous conversation with only minutes before. She says: rice, pineapple, walnuts and a vinaigrette dressing. That's fine so I take a small serve and eat it. Big mistake. By the last mouthful the cramps have started. 'Oh,' she says, 'it does have a little bit of sugar. Sorry.'

So we have to make a rush for home, which is fortunately not too far away, before things really get unpleasant - one toilet, twenty people - nah, can't take that chance - and that's the end of our evening.

I get it. People can be picky about what they eat - there's a lot of evidence that many people living gluten free don't actually have gluten intolerance for instance - but there are a lot of us who do have genuine intolerances or who even have life threatening food allergies and we can be made really ill if we eat foods to which we're intolerant or allergic. My particular intolerance is rare but it's real as are the intolerances of people with coeliac disease or Crohn's disease while my neighbour has such a severe peanut allergy it means a frantic rush to hospital by ambulance if she ingests even a minute amount. So if someone asks you what's in a food don't assume it's because they're being difficult and do make sure you tell them everything because you may otherwise be condemning them to unnecessary pain or worse.