You know the thing keeps getting all the bad press because well, you name the problem. It's all down to social media. Among other things it's responsible for mothers not paying attention to their children because they no longer interact with them apparently. An Australian cartoonist recently caused a furore by drawing a cartoon of a woman glued to her phone who hadn't noticed her baby had fallen out of the pram she was pushing because, of course, mothers who engage even momentarily with anyone else or anything in any way are neglectful. Makes you wonder what he thinks mothers with more than one child, doesn't it. Then there's the pile on that can happen when people express dissenting views and the way everyone is supposedly being led along by fake news and the social media companies which kindly offer us 'free' services in exchange for our data so their algorithms can target us with advertisements. and put us in a 'bubble' with like-minded folk.
The thing is this is all true to some degree. There are mothers who for whatever reason get distracted - by another child, their phones or books or television or - well you name it. They probably have an eye or ear open at the same time though and if little Johnny was to slip off his seat and start to wander they are likely to notice it and take action. Then there's the fake news - yes, it's everywhere and people do fall into believing it for all sorts of reasons but mostly because they don't fact check which is the first thing you should do when something controversial comes up.
I'm not forgetting the way the social media companies use the data they collect on either. It does happen and we need to be vigilant about what we give them to work with but that's down to us, isn't it. We need to be aware of what information we're making available and that we are at risk of manipulation if we're not careful. That's easy to say, though, and sadly not everyone is savvy enough to protect themselves. There are areas where we should hold these companies accountable and it's a failure on the part of our governments that rules have not been put in place to protect the users from this.
Then there's the pile on. It does happens and it can be truly awful. Anyone who's been on line for even a short time will have heard 'Don't read the comments' and 'Don't feed the trolls'. There are some horrible people out there and hidden in the anonymity of Facebook or Twitter they can and do say things they would never say to you face to face. Women are threatened with violence of all kinds from rape right through to murder for daring to say something that someone disagrees with. And it's not only women - threats of violence including threats to the family are a regular feature when anyone dares to lift their head into the public arena. It's not pretty.
These are all the reasons why I have a very carefully restricted number of 'friends' on Facebook and they are only people I care about. That doesn't mean we all always agree - life would be pretty boring if that was the case - but I expect them to show me the same courtesy I show them.
And that's why I came to write this post. I sometimes post things on my Facebook page that I know some of my 'friends' will either not like or will disagree with and I don't mind that. They can post comments and disagree as long as it is civil and they show the same civility they would if they were guests in my actual home. So I got somewhat miffed at what happened when a while back a disagreement between some of my Facebook friends started to get fiery and I asked people to stop commenting on that particular thread. This is my virtual 'home' and I don't want people getting into fights there anymore than I would want it happen in my real home. The majority backed off as I asked but some continued on bringing up the things that had been causing the heating up of the topic and it ended up with my getting terse with them and feeling disrespected.
So is it the fault of social media? I don't think so. Social media is only a platform and is not responsible for how we behave. It seems to me that it comes down to good manners which are basically just consideration of others. That means the same rules of behaviour should apply to virtual spaces as they do to real life spaces. Sadly though in many ways people don't see these spaces this way. Why? Well that's a difficult question but at least in part it comes down to the way social media provides anonymity on public platforms like Twitter and that leads to confusion in more private spaces. Let's just be aware of this and understand and differentiate between a civil disagreement and a 'flame' war. If you wouldn't say it to my face maybe you shouldn't say it on social media either.
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